Monday, May 28, 2012
My Adventure
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Lucky Me
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Saturday, November 07, 2009
My Dad
It is the 10th anniversary of my father's death. The following article was published in the Honolulu Advertiser shortly after I moved to Hawaii.
_______________
Two men who had the strongest impact on my life both died within weeks of greeting the new century. Both were in their 80's and both lived exemplary lives and each succeeded far beyond their original modest goals.
They both formed me, even though they didn't know each other. One I knew from birth and every day thereafter; one I met briefly, only once. From them I learned value and integrity and perhaps most importantly, to accept all people as equal no matter their color or their beliefs or their status. Each gave far more than they got.
I was a rambunctious child, and my dad guided me into sports to burn all that energy. I never shared his love of golf, but I did well in tennis, gymnastics, softball and whatever the guys down the street were playing. That was okay, but I had a higher calling in those days and that's where the other man came in. He rode his revered white horse alongside his faithful Indian companion and literally saved people's lives and their farms from evil men. This seemed a good choice of profession to me. Okay, my horse wasn't quite so magnificent and I wasn't allowed to cross the river during the rainy season and there weren't really enough evil-doers in my town to make a career of it - even if I was willing to forego school to do it. Instead, I watched every episode of the Lone Ranger and absorbed his message - that good and bad is based on deed, not on race or creed or color. If perhaps those days had more absolutes and less gray areas than today the concept has never wavered.
My dad was not famous; the idea appalled him - except for occasional remembrances about his college basketball prowess and his vocal similarity to Perry Como. He lived a quiet life, kept the same job for years and was happy to do so. He never really understood my wanderlust and need to keep pushing and challenging, but he never held me back or tried to say I shouldn't. He was proud of all his children because we stayed clear of drugs and drinking and driving, paid our bills - even if he had to occasionally add to the pot. He wanted nothing more from us than to be good and productive people. The only thing he ever insisted on was that we invest in a retirement plan. He would stoop to any level to get our money and get it working for us. Today I'm grateful, at 15 it felt premature.
Clayton Moore, the actor who is best known for portraying the masked Lone Ranger, insisted on never being seen in public without some eye covering. When the producers wanted a new, younger lead for their upcoming movie and went to court to bar Moore from wearing a mask, he wore dark glasses. He continued to live an upstanding life, long after the series ended, insisting he would never let down the millions of fans for which he was such a strong role model. How different that is from many of our so-called celebrities of today. A few years ago I appeared an hour early for a book signing of his autobiography, feeling kind of silly that I was still so in awe of this man, now in his late 70's (not to mention my age). The line was already out onto the sidewalk, and the store had to send to a rival store for more copies of the book. We are hungry for the good guys.
I learned all that is important to me from these two men, quiet heroes in their own way, lessons instilled before I was 10 and I hope I can say never wavered from. Lessons about value, about duty and obligation and being fair, working hard and giving back. Sure, life has some curves, some days or months, even years, can incur real setbacks. Yet no matter how dark it seemed, somewhere deep inside myself I knew that everything would turn out all right in the end. The Lone Ranger would come galloping up or my Dad would write a check or offer words of comfort or - surprise - I would figure out a solution on my own. Even now, with their recent loss, I don't feel alone because both men and their examples of living are always within me.
_______________
Two men who had the strongest impact on my life both died within weeks of greeting the new century. Both were in their 80's and both lived exemplary lives and each succeeded far beyond their original modest goals.
They both formed me, even though they didn't know each other. One I knew from birth and every day thereafter; one I met briefly, only once. From them I learned value and integrity and perhaps most importantly, to accept all people as equal no matter their color or their beliefs or their status. Each gave far more than they got.
I was a rambunctious child, and my dad guided me into sports to burn all that energy. I never shared his love of golf, but I did well in tennis, gymnastics, softball and whatever the guys down the street were playing. That was okay, but I had a higher calling in those days and that's where the other man came in. He rode his revered white horse alongside his faithful Indian companion and literally saved people's lives and their farms from evil men. This seemed a good choice of profession to me. Okay, my horse wasn't quite so magnificent and I wasn't allowed to cross the river during the rainy season and there weren't really enough evil-doers in my town to make a career of it - even if I was willing to forego school to do it. Instead, I watched every episode of the Lone Ranger and absorbed his message - that good and bad is based on deed, not on race or creed or color. If perhaps those days had more absolutes and less gray areas than today the concept has never wavered.
My dad was not famous; the idea appalled him - except for occasional remembrances about his college basketball prowess and his vocal similarity to Perry Como. He lived a quiet life, kept the same job for years and was happy to do so. He never really understood my wanderlust and need to keep pushing and challenging, but he never held me back or tried to say I shouldn't. He was proud of all his children because we stayed clear of drugs and drinking and driving, paid our bills - even if he had to occasionally add to the pot. He wanted nothing more from us than to be good and productive people. The only thing he ever insisted on was that we invest in a retirement plan. He would stoop to any level to get our money and get it working for us. Today I'm grateful, at 15 it felt premature.
Clayton Moore, the actor who is best known for portraying the masked Lone Ranger, insisted on never being seen in public without some eye covering. When the producers wanted a new, younger lead for their upcoming movie and went to court to bar Moore from wearing a mask, he wore dark glasses. He continued to live an upstanding life, long after the series ended, insisting he would never let down the millions of fans for which he was such a strong role model. How different that is from many of our so-called celebrities of today. A few years ago I appeared an hour early for a book signing of his autobiography, feeling kind of silly that I was still so in awe of this man, now in his late 70's (not to mention my age). The line was already out onto the sidewalk, and the store had to send to a rival store for more copies of the book. We are hungry for the good guys.
I learned all that is important to me from these two men, quiet heroes in their own way, lessons instilled before I was 10 and I hope I can say never wavered from. Lessons about value, about duty and obligation and being fair, working hard and giving back. Sure, life has some curves, some days or months, even years, can incur real setbacks. Yet no matter how dark it seemed, somewhere deep inside myself I knew that everything would turn out all right in the end. The Lone Ranger would come galloping up or my Dad would write a check or offer words of comfort or - surprise - I would figure out a solution on my own. Even now, with their recent loss, I don't feel alone because both men and their examples of living are always within me.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Misery Does Not Love Company
I have the flu. A really nasty one that won't go away. I have no time for it. I never have time for it. I had a lovely trip to Europe to see family and friends and theatre and all good things. I returned home full of vigor to restart my body and restart my life and read my Yoga Journal cover to cover.
Cough cough. So it began. Nearly two weeks later I sound like a freight train rumbling through the station. Sleep is easy, medicated to the hilt. And still, every morning I wake up, still sick. Sometimes worse, sometimes almost a glimmer of better, but overall definitely really sick. The doctor says it has to run its course, and it's not the current trendy swine flu. No this goes by the uninspiring name of "seasonal."
I'm wondering why my body betrayed me like this. I was really going to give it good nourishing food, more yoga and meditation. I was serious this time, a new improved me. Why didn't my body believe me and do it's share? Is this my subconscious sabotaging efforts to be better? Am I secretly a loser hanging on to a foolish possibility of change when it's all predestined from birth - like who gets to be Brad Pitt or Michelle Obama? I'm sure they work hard and deserve themselves and it probably wasn't easy and maybe their work ethic is ten times mine but really, I was on a roll. I had a plan!
Then my body said oops, not yet. Momentum is now so far behind the only way I see to catch up with chores fallen by the wayside is to throw everything away and start over.
Now that I think of it, maybe I tried to change with the same old junk. Maybe the junk goes first then the change. I'll try that next time.
Meanwhile I've lost five pounds, no appetite with all the meds. So maybe I'm not so far off course after all. I guess there are worse diets out there. But it probably wouldn't kill me to give away a lot of junk, either. Maybe this is my wakeup call, that maybe my body said sure, I can take off that pesky weight and then we'll buckle down to serious exercise. Maybe this is me in action!
Or maybe I just have the damn flu.
Cough cough. So it began. Nearly two weeks later I sound like a freight train rumbling through the station. Sleep is easy, medicated to the hilt. And still, every morning I wake up, still sick. Sometimes worse, sometimes almost a glimmer of better, but overall definitely really sick. The doctor says it has to run its course, and it's not the current trendy swine flu. No this goes by the uninspiring name of "seasonal."
I'm wondering why my body betrayed me like this. I was really going to give it good nourishing food, more yoga and meditation. I was serious this time, a new improved me. Why didn't my body believe me and do it's share? Is this my subconscious sabotaging efforts to be better? Am I secretly a loser hanging on to a foolish possibility of change when it's all predestined from birth - like who gets to be Brad Pitt or Michelle Obama? I'm sure they work hard and deserve themselves and it probably wasn't easy and maybe their work ethic is ten times mine but really, I was on a roll. I had a plan!
Then my body said oops, not yet. Momentum is now so far behind the only way I see to catch up with chores fallen by the wayside is to throw everything away and start over.
Now that I think of it, maybe I tried to change with the same old junk. Maybe the junk goes first then the change. I'll try that next time.
Meanwhile I've lost five pounds, no appetite with all the meds. So maybe I'm not so far off course after all. I guess there are worse diets out there. But it probably wouldn't kill me to give away a lot of junk, either. Maybe this is my wakeup call, that maybe my body said sure, I can take off that pesky weight and then we'll buckle down to serious exercise. Maybe this is me in action!
Or maybe I just have the damn flu.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Keep your ears stiff
A German acquaintance said that to me today. I'd never heard the phrase but I suppose the American equivalent is hang in there.
Attitude is everything or as Abraham Lincoln was credited with saying - Most people are about as happy as they decide to be. Have you ever noticed that unhappy people tend to wear it like their only coat, holding tight to all their misery, sharing with anyone who can't get away quick enough. Oh sure, stuff happens to us all making us angry, miserable, in pain and any number of things that can ruin a perfectly good mood. The difference is that unhappy people use any less than perfect event to add another layer to their misery, like adding a rumpus room onto their house and then accumulate all the junk that goes into it.
Happy and successful people by their very attitude save a lot of that grief. They're strong enough they don't get trapped into playing another person's game, if only because miserable people steer clear of them. I had a boss that hated good cheer. When he treated me with disrespect I upped the joy - to everyone but him. I'd like to say he came around and it's now a successful relationship but far from it. However, there's not much he can do because my work output is excellent and others have noticed. Okay, that's not always the best way to handle things because ultimately he is my supervisor and does my evaluations and approves various requests but I finally filed charges against him and I did that because I simply got brave enough to do so. Really, it took a lot to risk it because I had to assure myself I was worth the respect and not live in fear of losing a salary especially in this economy.
It's hard to do the right thing because it's not always appreciated and occasionally there are repercussions. But by respecting yourself enough to take the risk and understand the potential consequences often the lesson learned and the progress made will outweigh and downside. Yes, it might not. That's why it's called experience.
I often hear things happen for a reason. Maybe. It's a good debate and conversation over a glass of wine. I tend to prefer we make our own luck. And that's all about attitude. Face forward and take a giant step. Then when you fall back it might be only a small step. That's progress.
Attitude is everything or as Abraham Lincoln was credited with saying - Most people are about as happy as they decide to be. Have you ever noticed that unhappy people tend to wear it like their only coat, holding tight to all their misery, sharing with anyone who can't get away quick enough. Oh sure, stuff happens to us all making us angry, miserable, in pain and any number of things that can ruin a perfectly good mood. The difference is that unhappy people use any less than perfect event to add another layer to their misery, like adding a rumpus room onto their house and then accumulate all the junk that goes into it.
Happy and successful people by their very attitude save a lot of that grief. They're strong enough they don't get trapped into playing another person's game, if only because miserable people steer clear of them. I had a boss that hated good cheer. When he treated me with disrespect I upped the joy - to everyone but him. I'd like to say he came around and it's now a successful relationship but far from it. However, there's not much he can do because my work output is excellent and others have noticed. Okay, that's not always the best way to handle things because ultimately he is my supervisor and does my evaluations and approves various requests but I finally filed charges against him and I did that because I simply got brave enough to do so. Really, it took a lot to risk it because I had to assure myself I was worth the respect and not live in fear of losing a salary especially in this economy.
It's hard to do the right thing because it's not always appreciated and occasionally there are repercussions. But by respecting yourself enough to take the risk and understand the potential consequences often the lesson learned and the progress made will outweigh and downside. Yes, it might not. That's why it's called experience.
I often hear things happen for a reason. Maybe. It's a good debate and conversation over a glass of wine. I tend to prefer we make our own luck. And that's all about attitude. Face forward and take a giant step. Then when you fall back it might be only a small step. That's progress.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Making a List
Time’s list of 100 most influential people came out this week and I’m not on it. I didn’t expect to be since I’ve led what could be called an ordinary life. Some close brushes with fame through working at a Hollywood Studio and in a Governor’s office when he ran for president. I read most of the bios in Time, being a fan of bios overall, and I usually do that sort of personal connection that people do. You know, kind of like Stanley Kowalski’s “couldda been a contendah.” Except for, well, probably laziness, which I prefer to call well-rounded behavior, I could be there, too. I’ve never known a successful person who didn’t put everything they had into it. Talk to their children.
I pay my bills, am solvent and well employed – so far – in this economic meltdown. I raised and educated a child as a single parent, finishing college after my divorce since I rushed into marriage like all my friends. Nothing sends a young woman to the altar faster than being the last one in the group to marry. It wasn’t like today, when single can be a badge – although as I get older it gets less interesting, or maybe I do. Back then couples couldn’t live together without marriage, now it seems everyone does. Straights brag “who needs a piece of paper to show our love” and gays desperately want to marry to show theirs. Sometimes life is just mixed up. Have you ever liked a guy who liked a girl who liked another guy and so on, everyone unhappy and lovesick? I remember thinking if everyone took one step backward and hooked up half would be happy and the others would adjust. Nothing crashes further and faster than burned out love. The country music genre depends on it.
I thought that as I got older things would settle down a bit but that’s not proving to be so. I am really mad at the financial community who thought we were pawns in their egocentric games of my weenie earns more money than your weenie, just another male version of who’s got a bigger one. Seriously, couldn’t they have sent in for some of those spam-generated products and left my 401K alone? I’m angry because I saved my money and paid down my mortgage, one that I can afford, and don’t have a room-sized plasma TV. I upgrade my possessions as they are needed not when the next toy comes out. I’m not broke but I will work another year or so past my planned retirement like plenty of other people because of those so-called masters of the universe who weren’t even masters of their own impulses.
So how does one live well in these times? By remembering there is lot out there that’s good. We had a food drive last weekend and the amount soared above expectations. People got it; this was the year to help. Everyone is hurting but no one should be hungry.
Electing President Obama shows that we have, as Lou Grant said to Mary Richards, “Spunk.” He may have hated spunk – although he didn’t really – but it’s great for our country. As our new president, that spunk is what will take us out of the dark place we’ve been. The Bush election may have been stolen or it may have just been diabolically clever and 9-11 may have set things in motion or it may have been an excuse but bad heart equals bad actions. Hoo boy, did we get bad actions, lies and torture, bullying and lack of attention, the gamut of Murphy’s Law.
We need to take stock of what we have, focus on the half full glass filling up. Remembering life isn’t a game of winning at all cost. All those stories of Little League parents going nuclear so little Johnny or Sally can shine. Bribing and browbeating teachers to complain about a grade when here’s a thought, try having your kids do their homework.
Schools are a disaster in many areas because those who can afford it go to private school leaving public schools to teach the problem children, the poor children, the hungry children who can’t concentrate. Rich areas have good public schools and there are bright spots in poor areas but overall it’s shameful. Teachers are such heroes, every day out there on the front lines, making the world just a bit better when they reach out to a child. Yet we idolize sports icons that brag about sleeping with thousands of women. We gasp at steroid use when even me, who doesn’t follow sports at all, have been reading about it for years. When someone’s neck grows by four inches, hey, it ain’t from pushups.
We all know what’s right. We all think we believe it. But we get caught up in trying to stay ahead or afloat. That’s getting tougher. But all of it, ALL OF IT, was preventable. We sent to Congress too many boobs with hands in the till, we let money buy our vote because sound bites are easier than reading the facts. The good ones were squeezed out because they couldn’t compete in a crooked game. I know so many people who never voted until Obama came along and then it was to jump on the bandwagon, I’ll bet. Not enough people want to make an effort to do what matters. They want what they want and most of all don’t want to pay for it. Too many people want lower taxes and then have government as daddy, writing the checks. Oh so easy then, gimme lots more money to get into debt with.
Now we’re all rushing to go back to basics because we finally found a leader who makes it seem cool again. I read we get the government we deserve and thankfully we deserve this man. Even better, he seems to think he deserves us; that we aren’t beyond help, we’re good kids who sashayed out behind the school to cadge a smoke. We got caught and have to clean the graffiti off the walls for a while to show us the error of our ways. And we’re finding it’s really cool to help make it better. Like a pebble thrown in a pond it ripples out into something worth looking at. The tiny pebble is not influential but the ring of movement it creates can sure build momentum. We need our influential people but they can’t do it alone. They need us as much as we need them.
Each day if everyone did one thing to make something better then wrote it down before bed, thinking about how it felt and slept with it under the pillow. It’s how Obama won, one vote at a time.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Return with us now to Yesteryear
Everything comes around again. Growing up we lived by my father's credo of living below your income aka saving for a rainy day. He bought store brands on sale, in fact almost everything was bought on sale. Cars were maintained and kept longer than anyone we knew. There were many embarrassments as we became aware of our better endowed friends. His telling us he was probably worth more then they were fell on deaf teenage ears.
Everything comes around again. Sure, there were years during my early days of having a salary - first get a really cool car! Friends were for impressing. Gradually, as it does for most of us, we retreat to the familiar and as my daughter grew and became self-sufficient, no longer draining resources, I found a job to my liking and having spent many years in a shop till you drop mode, I pretty much had what I needed and found the ultimate in bargain shopping: a tax-free company matched 401(k). It was actually free money, as if I got a substantial raise.
Add in market growth which, alas, cannot now be done thanks to those who thought they ruled the financial universe and complained about their measly $40 million bonus payments.
Plenty has been written about that anger and certainly I share it but how to live well now? It turns out that the lessons of my childhood, about not buying what you can't afford and having some money put away - as a child of the 60s I call it "f*** you money" - I can now afford to take advantage of all the bargains out there. I donated my two-decade old TV that didn't get above channel 64 and splurged on a nice flat screen at a huge discount.
I read all those articles about how people are saving money in this economic crisis. Except it turns out I already do most of them. It's how I live. Thanks, Dad, you may not have thought those lessons stuck when I came home with yet another pair of shoes - you can only wear one at a time, he opinied - but it was a phase. During a mortgage meltdown I own my home, am saving for a remodel not refinancing, have a well balanced portfolio that yes, has taken a hit but is still solvent. (Most of it started and insisted upon by you.)
Living well is really about common sense. Do you need this right now? Is it within your budget? Eating well saves on health care costs. Maintaining your car rather than going plasma TV avoids car payments and higher premiums. So many things can be accomplished if you just wave at the Jones' and not try to keep up with them. Oh, they're in foreclosure?
Thanks Dad, for life's financial lessons. It has never served me so well. Now others are jumping on the bandwagon and the thing you feared most in life - being trendy - has finally caught up to you.
Everything comes around again. Sure, there were years during my early days of having a salary - first get a really cool car! Friends were for impressing. Gradually, as it does for most of us, we retreat to the familiar and as my daughter grew and became self-sufficient, no longer draining resources, I found a job to my liking and having spent many years in a shop till you drop mode, I pretty much had what I needed and found the ultimate in bargain shopping: a tax-free company matched 401(k). It was actually free money, as if I got a substantial raise.
Add in market growth which, alas, cannot now be done thanks to those who thought they ruled the financial universe and complained about their measly $40 million bonus payments.
Plenty has been written about that anger and certainly I share it but how to live well now? It turns out that the lessons of my childhood, about not buying what you can't afford and having some money put away - as a child of the 60s I call it "f*** you money" - I can now afford to take advantage of all the bargains out there. I donated my two-decade old TV that didn't get above channel 64 and splurged on a nice flat screen at a huge discount.
I read all those articles about how people are saving money in this economic crisis. Except it turns out I already do most of them. It's how I live. Thanks, Dad, you may not have thought those lessons stuck when I came home with yet another pair of shoes - you can only wear one at a time, he opinied - but it was a phase. During a mortgage meltdown I own my home, am saving for a remodel not refinancing, have a well balanced portfolio that yes, has taken a hit but is still solvent. (Most of it started and insisted upon by you.)
Living well is really about common sense. Do you need this right now? Is it within your budget? Eating well saves on health care costs. Maintaining your car rather than going plasma TV avoids car payments and higher premiums. So many things can be accomplished if you just wave at the Jones' and not try to keep up with them. Oh, they're in foreclosure?
Thanks Dad, for life's financial lessons. It has never served me so well. Now others are jumping on the bandwagon and the thing you feared most in life - being trendy - has finally caught up to you.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Living Well Really is the Best Revenge
2008 will go down as the year everything changed. It’s tempting to call Obama the new savior and while there is certainly some truth in being saved from Bush’s reprehensible policies, he’s left us with such a huge pile of garbage that it feels unfair to load Obama with more expectations. But it does make the holiday season more upbeat even though there’s a deepening economic crisis. This meltdown has many tentacles and those who are to blame want to get out intact and find a fall guy. You don’t work Wall Street if you don’t have nerves of steel and even in their panic they understand their mantra: “Save Thyself.” It will be years before the damage is sorted out and the economy begins a new period of growth as it always does.
Rachel Maddow – she of the left leaning in-your-face quasi nightly news show on MSNBC - and I share many common ideas but the top of the list if the word “Infrastructure”. She calls it sexy; I call it the most important thing we can do to gain our self respect. When you allow schools and roads and bridges and dams to fall into disrepair, people will die, children will not reach their potential and lawsuits will eat away more money than the repairs. Yet year after year these projects are put on hold by politicians rushing to please their donors, usually developers that want a tax cut to create more need for infrastructure without having to pay for it. New stuff you can sell wins every time and taxpayers get stuck with the costly improvements. That’s politics as usual and having worked in the legislature I’ve seen it first hand.
But now the grownups are in charge. It won’t be a quick or easy fix and without those who knocked on doors and made calls being vigilant elected officials who line their own pockets and those of their friends will prevail. It will take a while to clean them out and level the playing field. Seniority in Congress translates into way too much power and it’s often a gradual slide into what’s good for them is good for everyone.
But as 2009 begins I want to change focus. I titled my blog Living Well is the Best Revenge as a kind of attitude against being negative. I think it was probably first said by a woman dumped by her husband for a much younger model. Take his money, start a business and should loud and clear that it was the best thing that ever happened. At first it’s a total fake job, putting on a happy face with makeup. Soon enough, with practice, it’s real. It applies to anything, especially now when jobs are disappearing faster than cookies at Christmas. You can’t spend money but you can put up some attitude, you can look forward not backward, you can make the best of what you have.
I will venture a guess that most people fail because they complain. I don’t mean legitimate gripes to fix a problem, I mean they complain about their bad luck and keep track of who got more and soon it consumes them and that’s all they think about and how to get even or get their share, which usually means more than their share to catch up. But how about twisting that ball and seeing everything from a different angle? How about seeing not what’s wrong but what’s right? This isn’t new material; it’s been said in every way possible. Put a spin on it, stand up tall, face it as a mountain to climb. You’d get all the right equipment, you’d study the weather, bring some food; in other words you’d prepare yourself. Same thing in any crisis, preparation is the key. The key to survival is facing it head on and choosing your options.
So I want to refocus myself. It’s time to bring about a new prosperity and a new attitude and a new value system to our communities. It’s time to care about the whole picture, not just grab what you can while you can. It’s time to expand hopes and dreams and if you can’t pay for them right now you can study up on them – libraries are still free – and you can still volunteer and help an elderly neighbor, you can still be counted on.
Every day do one nice thing for someone – including yourself – which you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Some thing small like park between the lines or something more substantial like form a support group; there’s literally a million choices to make the world – and your life - a better place. And if you suddenly find yourself out of a job, between the paperwork – could they possibly have more forms to fill out? – and the networking, clean out a closet, study a new subject or learn a language, take the kids to the free events, every city has them even in down times, or to the park and make up games to play. Rearrange furniture for a new look, plant some flowers, refocus how you think. I won’t mention exercise because anyone who doesn’t know that’s important isn’t reading this.
At first it feels like walking underwater. You want to crawl into bed and suffer through your misfortune. You want to blame everyone who you believe caused it. But if you do that, you won’t crawl out of your hole and you may just dig yourself into a larger one.
Living well is not only the best revenge; eventually you’re going to make it happen.
Rachel Maddow – she of the left leaning in-your-face quasi nightly news show on MSNBC - and I share many common ideas but the top of the list if the word “Infrastructure”. She calls it sexy; I call it the most important thing we can do to gain our self respect. When you allow schools and roads and bridges and dams to fall into disrepair, people will die, children will not reach their potential and lawsuits will eat away more money than the repairs. Yet year after year these projects are put on hold by politicians rushing to please their donors, usually developers that want a tax cut to create more need for infrastructure without having to pay for it. New stuff you can sell wins every time and taxpayers get stuck with the costly improvements. That’s politics as usual and having worked in the legislature I’ve seen it first hand.
But now the grownups are in charge. It won’t be a quick or easy fix and without those who knocked on doors and made calls being vigilant elected officials who line their own pockets and those of their friends will prevail. It will take a while to clean them out and level the playing field. Seniority in Congress translates into way too much power and it’s often a gradual slide into what’s good for them is good for everyone.
But as 2009 begins I want to change focus. I titled my blog Living Well is the Best Revenge as a kind of attitude against being negative. I think it was probably first said by a woman dumped by her husband for a much younger model. Take his money, start a business and should loud and clear that it was the best thing that ever happened. At first it’s a total fake job, putting on a happy face with makeup. Soon enough, with practice, it’s real. It applies to anything, especially now when jobs are disappearing faster than cookies at Christmas. You can’t spend money but you can put up some attitude, you can look forward not backward, you can make the best of what you have.
I will venture a guess that most people fail because they complain. I don’t mean legitimate gripes to fix a problem, I mean they complain about their bad luck and keep track of who got more and soon it consumes them and that’s all they think about and how to get even or get their share, which usually means more than their share to catch up. But how about twisting that ball and seeing everything from a different angle? How about seeing not what’s wrong but what’s right? This isn’t new material; it’s been said in every way possible. Put a spin on it, stand up tall, face it as a mountain to climb. You’d get all the right equipment, you’d study the weather, bring some food; in other words you’d prepare yourself. Same thing in any crisis, preparation is the key. The key to survival is facing it head on and choosing your options.
So I want to refocus myself. It’s time to bring about a new prosperity and a new attitude and a new value system to our communities. It’s time to care about the whole picture, not just grab what you can while you can. It’s time to expand hopes and dreams and if you can’t pay for them right now you can study up on them – libraries are still free – and you can still volunteer and help an elderly neighbor, you can still be counted on.
Every day do one nice thing for someone – including yourself – which you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Some thing small like park between the lines or something more substantial like form a support group; there’s literally a million choices to make the world – and your life - a better place. And if you suddenly find yourself out of a job, between the paperwork – could they possibly have more forms to fill out? – and the networking, clean out a closet, study a new subject or learn a language, take the kids to the free events, every city has them even in down times, or to the park and make up games to play. Rearrange furniture for a new look, plant some flowers, refocus how you think. I won’t mention exercise because anyone who doesn’t know that’s important isn’t reading this.
At first it feels like walking underwater. You want to crawl into bed and suffer through your misfortune. You want to blame everyone who you believe caused it. But if you do that, you won’t crawl out of your hole and you may just dig yourself into a larger one.
Living well is not only the best revenge; eventually you’re going to make it happen.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
ObamaRama
I've been remiss at writing on my blog and the reason is pathetic - I'm happy. Obama has won. I have nothing more to say. I have no opnions. My world is being serviced properly by responsible people who believe like I do. I wander through my life with a vague smile on my face, the kind that used to signal organic substance but now says, after decades of political activism, everybody got it right. What more is there to say?
Well, sure, plenty but have you checked the blogs? Someone - many someones - have already said it. After years of feeling like I'm skipping to my own drummer when all others are crisply marching I am completely in tune with everyone!
Does that mean I'm no longer special, above the fray? Nah, just way ahead of my time or maybe too lazy to get out and find like minded friends. Turns out they were there all along. I sort of chose who was handy, sprinkled with a few politicos like myself but overall my intellectual curiosity was not meshing or being satisfied.
Now, oh now I'm am so on it. My only regret is that I'm not Tina Fey but like everyone else I practically exploded with ecstasy - the emotion not the substance - the first time I saw her on SNL as Sarah Palin. I knew then the election was over. Just as I always felt that George HW Bush lost because Dana Carvey did him better; so much better that watching the real deal felt phony.
I'll have to let go of my passive joy and look around for new passions. The world is not perfect, there are things to do and places to go. It's just that the loathing of the Bush presidency sucked up all the other oxygen; it was eight years of searching for the exit sign. Now it's here, it's well lit and it's a stampede going through.
To those who didn't vote for Obama - I'm guessing you're already telling people you knocked on doors for him, practically a top adviser, that you knew all along he was gonna pull it out.
This guy's a keeper.
Well, sure, plenty but have you checked the blogs? Someone - many someones - have already said it. After years of feeling like I'm skipping to my own drummer when all others are crisply marching I am completely in tune with everyone!
Does that mean I'm no longer special, above the fray? Nah, just way ahead of my time or maybe too lazy to get out and find like minded friends. Turns out they were there all along. I sort of chose who was handy, sprinkled with a few politicos like myself but overall my intellectual curiosity was not meshing or being satisfied.
Now, oh now I'm am so on it. My only regret is that I'm not Tina Fey but like everyone else I practically exploded with ecstasy - the emotion not the substance - the first time I saw her on SNL as Sarah Palin. I knew then the election was over. Just as I always felt that George HW Bush lost because Dana Carvey did him better; so much better that watching the real deal felt phony.
I'll have to let go of my passive joy and look around for new passions. The world is not perfect, there are things to do and places to go. It's just that the loathing of the Bush presidency sucked up all the other oxygen; it was eight years of searching for the exit sign. Now it's here, it's well lit and it's a stampede going through.
To those who didn't vote for Obama - I'm guessing you're already telling people you knocked on doors for him, practically a top adviser, that you knew all along he was gonna pull it out.
This guy's a keeper.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Obama Comes Home
OBAMA 'OHANA
This week Senator Barack Obama is vacationing in Hawaii. He was born here, graduated from high school here and his family still lives here. He hasn't had time to return since Christmas 2006, when he talked with family and friends about running for president.
Since then it's been - to say the least - a whirlwind experience. He's by many accounts likely going to be the next president of the United States. Nothing is for sure in politics but for now, we in the islands are basking in the glow of our native son.
Here's my experience of his arrival. Check it out.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-harter/obama-ohana-democratic-no_b_118008.html
This week Senator Barack Obama is vacationing in Hawaii. He was born here, graduated from high school here and his family still lives here. He hasn't had time to return since Christmas 2006, when he talked with family and friends about running for president.
Since then it's been - to say the least - a whirlwind experience. He's by many accounts likely going to be the next president of the United States. Nothing is for sure in politics but for now, we in the islands are basking in the glow of our native son.
Here's my experience of his arrival. Check it out.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-harter/obama-ohana-democratic-no_b_118008.html
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Is it passion or is it anger?
I've been wondering what makes a woman so relentless in her quest against all odds, far beyond just being a fighter and into obsessive desperate behavior as if without it her oxygen will be cut off.
It came to me. Her husband took what should have been terrific years - first lady of a state and then the nation - and turned it into a tawdry sideshow of his/their sex life. It wasn't a vast rightwing consipiracy, it was titilation fodder for some emerging cable news networks. I can't imagine a more humiliating experience. And so public.
Yet here they still are, and now her fortunes are rising while he's relegated to backyard incendiary remarks. If she's president she becomes an historic figure while he's a footnote, notable only for his impeachment and maybe being the first First Husband.
Could her campaign be the ultimate revenge? Could it be her deep rage at her husband's chronic infidelity that drives her and not passion for the American people? How else to explain her inability to face the truth about delegate counts, just as she seems to avoid the truth about the definition of marriage. (Call me old fashioned but isn't fidelity right up there?)
And to Clinton supporters I would remind them: do you really want that circus again? The behavior that left Al Gore in a bind by not being able to run on the Clinton administration successes? And a country so exhausted from it all that Bush and his fake morality looked good?
Think about it. The Clinton years came with a very high cost. She doesn't have experience, she has a very thick skin and a white hot rage at the injustice of it all.
Can't say I blame her but while she insisted that she was not just like Tammy Wynette standing by her man I'd tell her to listen to another Tammy Wynette song: D I V O R C E.
But please don't make our country pay for it again. The well is drying up.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
My left arm
Barack Obama's half-sister and her husband get to vote for him for the first time! That other arm on the table is mine, my little claim to fame, as Maya Soetoro-Ng said to me: This is so exciting, this is so exciting.
It definitely is.
And for those who want to know where he came from here's a great article on his mother, a strong role model for an extraordinary son.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23623222/
The Time Has Come
Last night I went to my caucus site in Hawaii to vote for Barack Obama. As a child of the 60s, political movements and especially anti-war movements have been a part of my life. I jumped on the Howard Dean wagon early on. It stymied me why people could not see the futility of the Iraq War at once. George W. Bush did not make a case for that war. Were we so desperate to strike out that any violent act on our part seemed just?
I've gone to many caucuses here; none have filled the school cafeteria. It's mainly party business with a preferential preference poll tacked on, the candidate generally decided. Occasionally a group would make a stand - Dennis Kucinich had a vocal group, Dean was already out last time - but otherwise it's an orderly event, a bit boring, picking delegates and officers for the state and county conventions. Those with vested interests showed up, the casual voter did not.
Last night had lines around the caucus sites hours before the event. Few knew the rules, that a caucus is different and usually done when everyone is seated. But with several thousand waiting, that changed quickly. Groups voted in waves and left; it was nonstop for two hours. The excitement - and not just because Obama is homegrown, few of the crowd were from Punahou, his school. There were old and young, working and not, educated and not so much. There was, in short, a complete cross section of the electorate, many registering for the first time.
That's a movement. Chuck Todd, the NBC political reporter http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23258192/ has some interesting insights into this race. But he wasn't in that room, he didn't see people who had little in common except their realization that this country deserves better than the same junk they've been fed. He didn't see two thousand people squished into a cafeteria to make their voice heard, not for the measly 20 delegates we get, but because they wanted to matter.
Hillary Clinton is losing because as the kids used to say, she's so five minutes ago. She's running her husband's campaign all over - hey, it worked once. Loyalty to the Clintons is everything, it trumps even common sense. As the underdog - as they were in '92, it's easy to take risks. No longer. She took no risk. She played it by the numbers. And tried to maneuver after the tidal wave came ashore.
Barrack Obama is on fire. I'm sure Clinton will get down and dirty - we ain't seen nothin' yet - to salvage what she's grown to believe was hers. She put all the pieces into play, the establishment Dems, and took the voters for granted. As they say in Hollywood, she began to believe her own press.
It's a new century. We deserve a new leader.
I've gone to many caucuses here; none have filled the school cafeteria. It's mainly party business with a preferential preference poll tacked on, the candidate generally decided. Occasionally a group would make a stand - Dennis Kucinich had a vocal group, Dean was already out last time - but otherwise it's an orderly event, a bit boring, picking delegates and officers for the state and county conventions. Those with vested interests showed up, the casual voter did not.
Last night had lines around the caucus sites hours before the event. Few knew the rules, that a caucus is different and usually done when everyone is seated. But with several thousand waiting, that changed quickly. Groups voted in waves and left; it was nonstop for two hours. The excitement - and not just because Obama is homegrown, few of the crowd were from Punahou, his school. There were old and young, working and not, educated and not so much. There was, in short, a complete cross section of the electorate, many registering for the first time.
That's a movement. Chuck Todd, the NBC political reporter http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23258192/ has some interesting insights into this race. But he wasn't in that room, he didn't see people who had little in common except their realization that this country deserves better than the same junk they've been fed. He didn't see two thousand people squished into a cafeteria to make their voice heard, not for the measly 20 delegates we get, but because they wanted to matter.
Hillary Clinton is losing because as the kids used to say, she's so five minutes ago. She's running her husband's campaign all over - hey, it worked once. Loyalty to the Clintons is everything, it trumps even common sense. As the underdog - as they were in '92, it's easy to take risks. No longer. She took no risk. She played it by the numbers. And tried to maneuver after the tidal wave came ashore.
Barrack Obama is on fire. I'm sure Clinton will get down and dirty - we ain't seen nothin' yet - to salvage what she's grown to believe was hers. She put all the pieces into play, the establishment Dems, and took the voters for granted. As they say in Hollywood, she began to believe her own press.
It's a new century. We deserve a new leader.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
And Away We Go....
Wow, who knew the division would now be within the hearts and minds of the Democrats? We are faced with two equally talented choices - one is "the bridge to the last century" and one is "the audacity of hope." We as a nation - because it's a probability that the winner of the Democratic ticket will win in November - must now decide whether it's time to take that leap of faith and aim for structural change or go with a more tested method of governance. Clinton is yesterday no matter how much she talks of change and no matter how precedent setting as a woman; and Obama represents that moment in life when you go with your gut, when it just feels right.
People who have never been involved in politics are joining those of us who always loved it. My first envelope stuffing was for Bobby Kennedy and Another Mother for Peace. It feels like deja vu all over again. Howard Dean - I believe - set off a movement that derailed him, the timing was not quite there. Bush hadn't hit bottom and then sunk further into his self-made quagmire. But I heard Pat Buchanan, a man I've never agreed with, say this war is a disaster, and that John McCain is a hawk and we'll be in one war after another if he becomes president. I didn't hear him say it, but if given the choice he is likely to vote for Obama. And that, voters, is proof that Obama can bring people together.
Right now Barack Obama is 4 delegates up. It's gonna be a fight, the Clintons have a machine right out of Republican playbooks. But sometimes that doesn't matter, sometimes the time is so right that nothing can derail. Ironically, one of her stumbles was about Martin Luther King. He was not the first one with that message, nor the last; but he was the right man at the right time and it was his message that resonates the most.
Let it be that time again.
People who have never been involved in politics are joining those of us who always loved it. My first envelope stuffing was for Bobby Kennedy and Another Mother for Peace. It feels like deja vu all over again. Howard Dean - I believe - set off a movement that derailed him, the timing was not quite there. Bush hadn't hit bottom and then sunk further into his self-made quagmire. But I heard Pat Buchanan, a man I've never agreed with, say this war is a disaster, and that John McCain is a hawk and we'll be in one war after another if he becomes president. I didn't hear him say it, but if given the choice he is likely to vote for Obama. And that, voters, is proof that Obama can bring people together.
Right now Barack Obama is 4 delegates up. It's gonna be a fight, the Clintons have a machine right out of Republican playbooks. But sometimes that doesn't matter, sometimes the time is so right that nothing can derail. Ironically, one of her stumbles was about Martin Luther King. He was not the first one with that message, nor the last; but he was the right man at the right time and it was his message that resonates the most.
Let it be that time again.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
And Away We Go.....
I've been voting a long time, every election since Bobby Kennedy. He was shot and killed that night. I was pregnant, my husband was out - later determined to be not a good thing - and I suppose it was the beginning of my adult reality check. Cheating husbands, and to my way of thinking a God that would let John and then Bobby be murdered. It was wrong, not just wrong in the legal and moral sense but in a world order sense.
I have waited a long time to feel something approaching optimism. Oh sure, I worked for McGovern, Muskie, Dean, even Perot caught my fancy, hoping that someone could make the system work. Instead we got Nixon and Reagan and - I can hardly say the word - Bush, not one but two. Someone once said we get the government we deserve. Hoo boy did we as a nation do bad things to get that bunch of greed-is-good and war-is-better gang. Well, of course greed isn't limited to government, apparently, we elected those who would satisfy our very own greed.
But finally, I believe we have figured out that we went too far. The rich get richer and the middle class get screwed while the poor at least have little to lose. So this election has finally given me the optimism I seek; that finally voters have become actual voters, studying the issues, listening to the candidates, really trying to figure out which one of them can lead us into something approaching decency. Sure, we need strength, there really are bad guys out there trying to harm us. We need lots of attention to economics without bailing out every corporate crook out there. Here's a concept: stop them before they suck out the marrow. The housing crisis was preventable, and a credit crunch followed and now a debt overload looms. Bush's answer to 9-11 was BUY. Show those terrorists we won't be cowed, buy and buy and buy some more. Hey, it's easier than diplomacy.
The pendulum has swung. Finally, voters are actually grabbing the reins. The fact there is no clear front runner yet and all the attention is on an election almost a year away is both an offshoot of too many news shows - even if most are closer to entertainment - but even so, it's about who will lead our country. Yes, the media has to manufacture controversy, like Senator Clinton's remark about LBJ and MLK, but even that gets a discussion going.
I am optimistic if for no other reason than every single candidate running - including those who have dropped out - are solid candidates. They have experience and intelligence and a desire to make us better. I would prefer McCain not be such a hawk especially considering his past but it's maybe because of it, I don't know. But I know he's sincere. Romney appears plastic but I think he's competent. I love Obama, such style and class and an ability to soar above the venal. Clinton I'm tired of but I believe she will be a great president. Huckabee is a charmer. I know Edwards deserves more attention than he's getting but the fire just isn't lit - but he's truly the best about America. Whomever becomes president will I believe set us on coarse to be the country we really do deserve to be.
It's about time.
I have waited a long time to feel something approaching optimism. Oh sure, I worked for McGovern, Muskie, Dean, even Perot caught my fancy, hoping that someone could make the system work. Instead we got Nixon and Reagan and - I can hardly say the word - Bush, not one but two. Someone once said we get the government we deserve. Hoo boy did we as a nation do bad things to get that bunch of greed-is-good and war-is-better gang. Well, of course greed isn't limited to government, apparently, we elected those who would satisfy our very own greed.
But finally, I believe we have figured out that we went too far. The rich get richer and the middle class get screwed while the poor at least have little to lose. So this election has finally given me the optimism I seek; that finally voters have become actual voters, studying the issues, listening to the candidates, really trying to figure out which one of them can lead us into something approaching decency. Sure, we need strength, there really are bad guys out there trying to harm us. We need lots of attention to economics without bailing out every corporate crook out there. Here's a concept: stop them before they suck out the marrow. The housing crisis was preventable, and a credit crunch followed and now a debt overload looms. Bush's answer to 9-11 was BUY. Show those terrorists we won't be cowed, buy and buy and buy some more. Hey, it's easier than diplomacy.
The pendulum has swung. Finally, voters are actually grabbing the reins. The fact there is no clear front runner yet and all the attention is on an election almost a year away is both an offshoot of too many news shows - even if most are closer to entertainment - but even so, it's about who will lead our country. Yes, the media has to manufacture controversy, like Senator Clinton's remark about LBJ and MLK, but even that gets a discussion going.
I am optimistic if for no other reason than every single candidate running - including those who have dropped out - are solid candidates. They have experience and intelligence and a desire to make us better. I would prefer McCain not be such a hawk especially considering his past but it's maybe because of it, I don't know. But I know he's sincere. Romney appears plastic but I think he's competent. I love Obama, such style and class and an ability to soar above the venal. Clinton I'm tired of but I believe she will be a great president. Huckabee is a charmer. I know Edwards deserves more attention than he's getting but the fire just isn't lit - but he's truly the best about America. Whomever becomes president will I believe set us on coarse to be the country we really do deserve to be.
It's about time.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Backwards They Went
New Hampshire folded like a poker player with a pair of deuces. Iowa surged forward, full of possibilities, and the polls in New Hampshire said they would, too, that they were were an ornery bunch. But in the end they voted for McCain - last century's candidate - and Clinton, last century's president, er, first lady.
When it came time to stand tall New Hampshire stuck to the known. This might not be so bad except they have this reputation as Independents, their history goes way back to the beginning of a new country. They've lost their roots, they've lost their way.
Not that I don't think McCain and Clinton are fine candidates and supposedly fine people. They've certainly been through the fires; both have been trashed by Republicans, those nasty do-anything-to-win kind of Republicans. But they are last century's politicians and if we don't get out of the quagmire that Bush and pals put us in we will be set back decades.
The time to get rid of Bush was four years ago, the damage since then is huge. But the voters then, like nervous children, peed their pants and voted Kerry the Democratic nominee, the establishment candidate. Then John Kerry kept silent while supporters of a draft dodger trashed his honorable and heroic war record. The guilt of the Viet Nam war followed us still. Look at your stock portfolio and the dollar dropping, all a reaction to our huge debt that's out there to keep this war going.
Iowa showed us the way, New Hampshire ran like hell. The two winning candidates are still fighting George Bush's incomprehensible war. Where oh where has New Hampshire gone?
When it came time to stand tall New Hampshire stuck to the known. This might not be so bad except they have this reputation as Independents, their history goes way back to the beginning of a new country. They've lost their roots, they've lost their way.
Not that I don't think McCain and Clinton are fine candidates and supposedly fine people. They've certainly been through the fires; both have been trashed by Republicans, those nasty do-anything-to-win kind of Republicans. But they are last century's politicians and if we don't get out of the quagmire that Bush and pals put us in we will be set back decades.
The time to get rid of Bush was four years ago, the damage since then is huge. But the voters then, like nervous children, peed their pants and voted Kerry the Democratic nominee, the establishment candidate. Then John Kerry kept silent while supporters of a draft dodger trashed his honorable and heroic war record. The guilt of the Viet Nam war followed us still. Look at your stock portfolio and the dollar dropping, all a reaction to our huge debt that's out there to keep this war going.
Iowa showed us the way, New Hampshire ran like hell. The two winning candidates are still fighting George Bush's incomprehensible war. Where oh where has New Hampshire gone?
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